I am experiencing déjà vu. I walk towards a group of girls liming on a bench or studying or doing something. As I get closer to them, close enough to see the expression on their faces, I am forced to implement the escape plan. No, I have not landed a role as one of Charlie’s Angels. I am merely on the receiving end of a little girl-on-girl abuse, once again.
The first time, I think it was my hair. Whether the reason was that it was ‘too juvenile” a style or covered in flakes or otherwise “bang up,” as a fashionista once put it, it drew their laughter. The last time it may have been my skirt. The scenario was the same. I approach hushed voiced and amused expressions, and walked by silence, and finally left laughter behind me. When I got to my destination, stood straightening the skirt and making sure that I wasn’t giving a show, I realized my zip was undone, at the back! Not that the reverse would have been acceptable. Yet no one had said a thing. That is, no one had said a thing to me.
I don’t mean to distress you if this nightmare forms part of the past you want to leave in the past, that’s for sure. However, it’s a phenomenon I never quite got. What on earth would possess these creatures to turn me into the impromptu target of their cruelty? I want to stop in the centre of their group, hands akimbo, whip around to face them and scornfully utter a comment, the likes of which would shut them up for good.
Some would have you tell me that engaging these bullies would lead to the situation escalating beyond what it needed to. Others would relish the bacchanal that followed. Others still would do as I did and keep walking towards their destination, the weight of the exchange upon their shoulders. The choice of the method in which to respond to the situation, or any situation, is ultimately yours.
My appeal is to you when the shoe is on the other foot, as they say. Have you ever been safe in your crowd or clique and enjoyed a laugh at someone else’s expense? Recall your own despair when no one shielded you from the same. Is any joke really worth putting someone through that? We can eliminate these ills by our actions and thoughts. Loving ‘the skin we’re in’ starts with appreciating it in all its forms, draped across its owners everywhere, and regardless of the background associated with it. It is a lifestyle change that if undertaken, brings victory to all who dare to attempt to accept the challenge, and those around them.
