Among the friends who joined me as I walked across the proverbial ‘Sands of Time’, passing from adolescence to adulthood, two friends stand out in memory. They walked ahead of me not in age but in experience and so, decisiveness. And as I peer at their footsteps before me, I notice that these lead off to two separate roads- divergent paths creating a fork in the road.
One young lady was born to a life of comfort. She seldom worried about her meals, clothes or future- except to note her preferences. Life was as beautiful as the things that were bought for her. The other- truly alien in the view of the first because of the stark difference- was brought up to fight for whatever she wanted. Few things would come for free, and as for those it did, grab them!
I resolved a long time ago, to be proud of these girls, regardless of their 
situation. I love them because they are my friends- and I choose not to judge them. The differences in their circumstances were situations that they were born into- and because of this, or in spite of it- they have managed to carve out success for themselves.
From the former, I learned to appreciate the finer things in life and to enjoy beauty. Unfortunately, as the first person to reject clothes after using them once, she showed me how easy it is to be wasteful. Some of her struggles later in life, as she pursued her dreams, proved that money can’t buy happiness or success- reinforcing lessons about the importance of hard work. As for the latter, there were times where her determination to get what she wanted out of life saw her morphing into a steamroller, leaving me hurt. Yet, she had always had my love and respect as a friend, and so her spirit was etched on my mind and heart the day I saw her simple and honest act of bravery. We had stopped to look at a few items in a store and decided to get a snack before leaving. She picked up two small bars of chocolate but when she learned the cost of the second, she stood tall and politely said that she could not take it- she did not have enough money. I was so surprised. I have seen other friends subsist on one subway for the entire day because they had only a small sum of money but did not want to eat a paltry, yet cost effective meal. I do not judge these friends either but in those moments worried about their health.
I will always celebrate both these women and the others who have joined them along their paths. I may join either, or take an entirely different road. But because of these two ladies, I can see a mask of pretentiousness fall away from those who would wear it to deceive or seduce me. I am resolved to leave an item on the shelf if I cannot afford it; decline an invitation to an event that is above budget; wear the same clothing regardless of who has seen it-impressing someone is not worth my risking bankruptcy. I am driven to carve out my own success. There is no shame in wealth; there is no shame in poverty. But a sense of shame plagues the one who hides herself or himself behind an image created by someone else or created to please someone else. We are too beautiful and too capable, to condemn ourselves to hanging our heads in shame or lifting faces veiled behind façades and illusions based on lies, biases and insecurities. And such a masquerade will hamper our development. So let the world see the real you!
