Staff writer - Maureen Gordon
Respect is a basic human trait, it is based on the respect that you have for yourself. Basically it is how you would like to be treated; this is how you are supposed to treat others. However in the 21st century I have discovered that the standard of respect expected and needed by some people cannot be measured or attained.
In my line of work I hear this word all the time, he has no respect for me, she disrespected me. That teacher did not show me respect!!! What you think is showing respect can turn out to be disrespect. When did respect take on such a dangerous overtone? It seems it has been twisted to mean something else entirely. What does it mean then for our society when a look or stepping on someone’s toes can mean a beating or a death sentence?
Contrast this to a time when respecting your elders and other adults in authority was sacrosanct, you would be afraid to say or do anything in their presence in case it got back to your parents or they reprimanded you themselves. In many instances now young people look for an adult to show respect to them first.
The image a person who is determined to do what his conscience tells him. He has been disrespected by someone and he must get revenge, that person cannot get away with this. He cannot be reasoned with, he will not listen. The following is a quote taken from an article in a black newspaper called New Nation in July 2008.
Earning respect sometimes comes at a heavy price: The Godfather
“I can’t let people who have disrespected my family walk around like nothing has happened.” “A lot of times we are killing because we have to, for our friends and family.’’
This tells me that this is more about losing face, being ashamed, being afraid to back down, ignorance. It means I don’t value myself and I don’t value you. It has nothing to do with being disrespected. The fact is respect is given, respect is shared, and respect is earned it is not an automatic right.
Respect has to begin in the home, and we all learn by example, how do children observe their parents and other family members treating each other. Also research has shown that children learn to respect others when they are treated with respect. We have to understand that teaching a child the fundamentals of respect is tied up with their self-esteem, what they think about themselves; will influence their actions. Therefore a critical, unsupportive adult will not help a young person learn valuable lessons of respecting self and respecting others and as a consequence of this, other adults and other children will become a target for their anger and indifference.
We are seeing some extremes in our societies and nations because of the erosion of respect so what can we do to re-educate and give young people new perspective about respect.
Just some questions to ponder
- How do you help your child, children to resolve conflict?
- What do you say about others in front of your children for example, teachers, and people in authority?
- How do you teach your children the values of respect within your culture such as respecting elders?
I look forward to hearing your feedback.
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