Aren’t I A Good Listener?

Staff Writer – Katrin Callender

I was surprised when I became aware of the fact that I was less interested than I might have appeared to an onlooker. Granted, this was not my intention.  Although I’d been sitting in the same position, technically in a conversation with my friend for hours, I had grown tired and my mind had begun to wander. Yet I had managed to maintain the air of one who was absorbed in the conversation- I was leaning forward, head turned in towards her, eyes staring in her direction.  On a few occasions I had been able to blink myself back to the present. Other times, she jogged my brain back to the conversation by shifting her weight or performed some action. More importantly, she was a dear friend and had been for some years, so why had my mind strayed while she was bearing her heart? But nothing was quite as awful as the rare instant where she would stop mid-sentence and ask, “Are you listening?”

When we feel boredom, tune out or otherwise experience a shift in attention while listening to someone, a break might be just the thing to get us back on track. But if someone is sharing an intimate story, seeking our counsel, or in need of comfort, how do we interrupt them to take a break? The truth is, I don’t know. And even though we might need a break at such a time, we wouldn’t want to abandon a friend.

Photo coutesy Blackenterprise.com

So maybe the key is to take breaks when we are alone. Sounds strange, I’m sure, but what I’m getting at is that we set aside some time for ourselves and undertake a mental journey.  We can see to it that our business is attended to–it’s really hard to take care of others when we have left ourselves undone, we can let our mind travel as we fantasize about the future or reminisce about the past, or we can rest and meditate to find some much needed peace of mind and strength.

If you are uplifted by helping, and feel like it is energizing and that you do not need to stop doing it- you are in no way bored- a break may still be a good idea as a preemptive strike but it’s likely that you are good to go on listening.

Listening to another without malice, bias or judgment and being able to help them can be a truly rewarding experience for all involved. However, we all have circumstances that are a source of concern and weigh on our minds. Furthermore, we are not always able to concentrate for long periods of time. As such, a wandering mind or loss of focus is to be expected. Yet the repercussions of this small action are unpleasant enough to encourage us to ensure that we do what we can to hone this skill in particular and endeavor to be better listeners.