Staff Writer – Katrin Callender
I remember being so surprised by the lessons taught in my sociology classes. Men and women underwent different processes of socialization? It was such a strange thought but having read it, it seemed so obvious. Each theory explained the differences in abilities, in hobbies, in behaviors. The whole wide world had a line drawn right down the centre. Or did it?
Even now, when years have passed since those classes, I still feel so far removed from some of the men in my life. We care about the same things, but we speak a different language. Many people write or make films about the differences between the sexes and the communication gaps that exist. But we, as people inhabit our world and we owe it to ourselves to make certain that we understand each other.
We might try socializing the men in our community once more, with a different value system- based on what we’ve learned. We can try to teach them that women ought to be called just that and not be confused with female dogs. We can stress that our eyes are a bit higher up on our bodies, and that we are capable of more functions and serve needs other than the sexual.
We can argue that we are equals and that we should receive equal pay, as well as penetrate male dominated professions. We can state that our bodies- their capacity to bear children, our hormones and our menstrual cycle- do not make us weak, but play a huge part in the existence and continuation of our species.
We can commit to spending our days letting the men in our society know what we feel and educating them to address the gaps left by traditional socialization. But we would have fought only half the battle.
The socialization of both sexes was flawed. And there are women who buy into fallacious ideas about women and perpetuate these concepts. Additionally, many women have a skewed view of men and are guilty of the stereotyping many- showing prejudice and judging males whose behavior is against type.
There are men who will be loyal and faithful; men who look forward to building
Photo courtesy dreamstime.com
a family and supporting it; men who do not view women as meat; men who will not insult or take advantage of the women in their lives; men who are not dogs.
The challenge with subverting age old lessons, no matter how erroneous, is offering truth. Many subscribe to the ideologies we wish to be rid of because there is simply no example of an alternative. We must find these.
We must offer a fair and balanced view of the men and women of yesteryear, seek to understand feelings on gender in the present, and most importantly, show optimism for what men and women can become.
We have many illustrations; we ourselves demonstrate the answers daily. We must be patient not patronizing; we must empower our men and women to strive for better, always.
