Staff Writer - Audrey Linton
How often in the workplace does conflict erupt? Think about it! One team has put all their efforts in supporting the company, working day and night to ensure its success. Senior Management, however, does not acknowledge it and either decrease sales commission or increase targets!
This would probably cause workplace rebellion or strike action in some unionised organisations. Unless a shrewd negotiator like Abigail steps in.
Ok, I will tell you a little bit about Abigail as I am sure you are scratching your heads thinking who on earth is Abigail!
Abigail lived during the times of David, before he became King of Israel. She was married to a man called Nabal. I love to study the meaning of names and the name Abigail has a two-fold meaning. It means ‘father’ and ‘source of joy’. Nabal on the other hand means ‘fool, or foolish’.
In 1 Samuel 25 it says that Abigail was a woman of good understanding. The original meaning of the word ‘good’ ranges from practical, economic and materially good to abstract good (desirable pleasant and beauty).
Abigail also had the ability to exhibit intelligence, wisdom, discretion and commonsense in a crisis situation.
Are you still with me? Ok, let us focus a little on her husband.
Nabal on the other hand although he was very rich and had a booming business, was called a churlish man. In other words he was hard, mean, cruel and deliberately stifling!
Now how could a woman of such beauty and wisdom marry such a severe, harsh and stubborn man! What could her parents have been thinking when they put them together?
Anyway, come and explore with me for a little while why Abigail is one of my heroes.
Before David became King of Israel, he was very much a fugitive – always ducking and diving from King Saul, whose envious streak wanted to annihilate David.
David and his band of outlaws were in need of supplies and as Nabal was very rich, having over three thousand sheep and a thousand goats – probably a million dollar industry in today’s terms! David sent a request to Nabal as he heard that he was in the ‘sheep shearing season.’
The message probably sounded something like this:
‘Hello Nabal, my old friend – you may remember me. We protected your shepherds when they were in the wilderness.’ We never hurt them, nor took any of their belongings.
I wonder if you could now spare a thought for us as we are in short supply of food and other essentials. Give us anything that you can to help us during this rough time.’
Hmm – how do you think a stingy, foolish businessman reacted to that!
Yes – you got it right! Nabal’s response was:
‘Not likely! Who are you – just a bunch of outlaws who have escaped from Saul – do you think I’m going to take my provision and give it to you?’
When David heard this message, he saw red! Immediately he told his men to gird up their sword as we are going to shed some blood today, they were ready to take Nabal out!
Photo courtesy mymodernmet.com
The shrewd negotiator intervenes
Abigail immediately went to see David and his outlaws not considering her own safety. She apologised profusely for her husband’s behaviour and drew on her unique strengths and abilities to appease David’s anger:
1. She went in the spirit of humility
Abigail held a very prominent position as a wife of a wealthy businessman ,but she saw if fit to humble herself and bow herself to the ground and honoured David.
2. She used effective communication techniques
Communication is not just about words, but it is also about body language. It is said that 55% of meaning is conveyed by facial expressions and body language alone. So whilst she stated the facts, her demeanour and presence complimented what came out of her mouth.
3. She took the blame for her husband’s wrong doing
We live in such a blame culture. Our workplaces thrive on pointing the finger at someone else, but Abigail said to David ‘please forgive the trespass of your maidservant.’ She realised that her and her husband are a team, so if he messed up, then it reflects on the whole team – so the whole team takes responsibility!
4. She affirmed David and his call
Imagine that, David was ready to kill her husband and perhaps wipe out their whole business, but Abigail affirmed David and told him that he cannot thwart the call of God on his life, just because of her husband’s unwise actions. Don’t let a fool stop you from reaching your destiny.
This action left David speechless! He blessed her and thanked her for her wise advice and acknowledged that her advice has kept him from shedding blood and causing hurt.
Do you work with a person who has similar characteristics to Nabal?
– How do you react to their behaviour?
How do you think you could work with your colleagues to develop better interpersonal skills?
Have you ever thought of forgiving someone in your workplace for the wrong they have caused you?
Let me know how you get on.
