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Home Culture & Society The Oedipus Factor

The Oedipus Factor

by caribdirect
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Sigmund Freud used the term Oedipus Complex to describe certain neuroses in childhood behavior of the male child where he competes for the exclusive love of his mother, jealousy directed at the father who is viewed as competition. Freud also described that the male child harbours unconscious sexual desires for his mother. This theory is named on the Greek myth where the King of Thebes was destined to kill his father and end up marrying his mother. It really makes one think ewww, shuddering at that perturbing thought, unconscious or not.

Yet, his observation may not be too farfetched. There are qualities and characteristics that are often sought after in a potential mate that mirrors those of our parents. The proverbial Mama’s boy or Daddy’s girl are very close to their respective parent and holds their opinion in high regard and often tend to seek similar qualities in his/her partner, especially when that parent is held in high regard and has a very close relationship with their off springs. For the male, he seeks the values and virtues that his mother possesses in his potential mate. If he comes from single mother household with a mother who was strong and made sacrifices for her children, he seeks the same in his wife to be. One such quality is the skill in running the home and that of being in the kitchen.  Caribbean men tend to love a woman who is equal or more adept at cooking (if such a thing is possible as nothing tops mom’s skills) than their mothers.

For the ladies, daddy’s little princess who regards her father as the man who is loving to his wife and children  is able to provide and meet the financial needs of the family while being nurturing and giving guidance as well.  Her father is the epitome of what each and every man should be. She seeks the persona of her father in her husband to be. A man that embodies all the characteristics her father possesses which she looks up to and all the unique qualities that she holds dearly.

Happy Family

On the other side of the coin, there are others who have different experiences where closeness with a parent is non-existent or there isn’t a parent around to emulate.  Our perception is our reality and it shapes what our values and character directly or indirectly based on our experience and our reactions to such.

Do not think that this means that we are all dating, seeking or married to our parents or the opposite mold of what our parents are like. It is just that the values and characteristics instilled in us by our parents are those same values that we use as a measuring stick in our potential partner or spouse. Especially for those that are from a close knit family.  It is simply that for some, the parents are role models that we aspire to be like and seek also in a potential partner as this is what makes for compatibility.

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