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Home Culture & Society Dating: Step outside the box

Dating: Step outside the box

by caribdirect
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Anderson Cooper, a renowned journalist for CNN had an interesting topic last month on his talk show. It was about interracial couples, arguably more about black men who preferred to date only white women.  On the panel were a couple of African American women and men who dated not their counterparts but only white women.

A few of the reasons as to their preference that stood out most in my mind was that white women had more bubbly persona, positive attitude and is not afraid to make the first move and so with confidence. There was mention that an African American woman had an attitude and as a result is somewhat more difficult to approach. I started thinking about the relationship dynamics of the Caribbean in that aspect and if such a trend existed.

There are many Caribbean women who are looking for love. Is it that there really is a shortage of men out there or is it that it is a matter of looking outside the proverbial dating box? Usually women date men who they met at a social event, through a mutual friend or one who approached them giving a talk. What about taking a new approach, why not make the first move? If you see a man who makes an impression, why not go up to him, introduce yourself and get the conversation started.

Yea, I know you are thinking that you give subtle hints so he may catch on that you are interested but alas that doesn’t work. I recall running breathless to the gate of the delivery area to give a guy his receipt. He had purchased goods from the company which I was then an employee. I gave my best flirt move of biting my lower lip, smiling and batting my eyes. He didn’t even realize I was trying to get him to ask for my number. Trust me, men don’t get subtle hints, they only know the direct approach.

Also, try to go to places with just one friend as men may feel intimidated and apprehensive about approaching a woman when she is with her group of girlfriends as they fear rejection and more so in front of a pack.  It is not easy to get over being shut down or ridiculed for whatever pickup line he might use.

It is said you never leave a relationship without baggage. However, try not to let a broken heart change your perspective on love and relationships. It is called baggage as it will weigh you down in a pool of bitterness and drown any chance of moving forward with that one person who will make it all worthwhile.

Also, try other unconventional methods like trying a matchmaker/dating website. Rather than feel offended that a black man may prefer to date another race, you may need to analyze the flip side. Perhaps you may date outside your own ethnic zone. Step outside certain comfort zones and be adventurous in your search for love.

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