Dear Jade
I am a 29 year old female and after two serious relationships and a few casual ones in between, I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever find Mr Right. I have a degree in engineering and a good job, with close friends and family but do find myself feeling as though something’s missing. My last boyfriend ended our relationship without even directly telling me, he just stopped calling as often and during the last few times we met up he was cold towards me so I knew what was coming. And to make matters worse recently I spotted him and his new girlfriend out together and to be honest she’s not even as pretty as me, I do try to look my best and obviously she doesn’t cause she was plain, when I first saw how she looked I thought it was funny but now I just feel insulted. I don’t want to be alone for much longer.
Rachel
Thanks for your honesty Rachel I can’t help feeling that your letter is about two separate things. Firstly your concern about whether or when you’ll find true love. And secondly the pain surrounding the break-up of your last relationship. So let’s look at them in turn. If there was a way to predict when each of us would find true love and somehow be able to bypass the ‘others’ wouldn’t it save a lot of time energy and heartache? Yes, but as of yet there is no such thing. So what can we do until such a time, to increase the chances of meeting our Mr Right for us? You could try attending at least one social event each and every week and I’m not talking about clubs and raving necessarily but attend events and places where the kind of man you’d like to meet might be at. I talk to many single women and I’ve found that too many have an exact picture of who they’re gonna end up with. Be open to the possibility that the man that might be right for you may look or sound differently to the one you imagined. You mention that you’ve got great friends and family, enlist them in your search for love, and if that doesn’t work why not register with an Introductions agency and get introduced to someone that way. But ultimately we do have to get right with ourselves and practise self love before any relationship will work. (Remember like attracts like).The end of your letter deals with your pain surrounding the break-up of your last relationship, but maybe you should look at it differently and actually be grateful that you’re no longer with a man who in your own words treated you coldly. But Rachel you can’t expect me to take seriously your comments about how the other woman looked, if looks were all that mattered then wouldn’t he still be with you? Relationships in order to be successful must have their foundations in friendship and compatibility, as in the end this is all that really matters. Let me know how it goes.
