Staff Writer - Carol Cato
Jerry and Beth were married 20 years, things were hard, due to work and marital problems. Jerry felt that Beth lost interest, she no longer pays him any attention. He has suggested doing things together but Beth’s never interested. As for the bedroom department, she seems to always have a headache, or pretends to be asleep. Jerry feels that Beth was not keeping up her appearance like she used to. Her nightgowns are undesirable, some are stained down the front— such a turn off. In the beginning of their relationship Beth wore short sexy skirts and tight fitted jeans. Her body was ‘fine’ and from the moment he saw her he knew she would be his. However, since the kids, she has let herself go. Jerry drops hints. He buys nice clothes to let her know he wants her to look good again, but she just turns a blind eye.
“One day I went as far as to cook dinner, I even had candles lit low, laid out a special table and waited for her to come home from work. Beth came in, turned on the lights, complained about the smell of candles, and that it was too dark. She didn’t like the dinner, didn’t mention the effort I had put into everything, and then said she was tired, had a headache, and went to bed. That was my last straw; it was up to her now to make the effort.”
Jerry has an encounter:
“The other day, at the construction site, a fine looking woman passed by, she gave me a really nice smile, and I smiled back. I didn’t think too much of it until the next day. She walked past the building where I worked and smiled at me again. I plucked up the courage and said hello. We talked for a bit and made plans to meet for coffee. That evening I called Beth and told her I was hanging with the boys, and would be late. The young lady’s name was Mary. She had a teenage son, but was not in a relationship. I told her upfront that I was married, but that we were not happy. Mary did not seem to mind, she said, “if women can’t see what they have, they don’t deserve to have it”.
At first, I told Mary that I didn’t want anything serious, and she did not mind, we had an affair. Mary was giving me all that Beth wasn’t. She looks good every time we meet, she complements me, she listens to me —none of which Beth did any more. Beth was suspicious about me always being out. We got into an argument about my whereabouts, I got so angry that I hit her. I know I should never raise my hand to women, but it just happened.
Beth told me she was going to church that Sunday. Great, I’d give Mary a morning call she’d like that. As soon as Beth left I called Mary. I told her that Beth was not at home. She wanted me to come over but I told her that I couldn’t, Sunday was family time.
Beth returned from church with a new Bible in hand. She said that she gave her life to God. I thought, ‘good’. Now the only thing I knew in the Bible was, as husband, she must do as I say. So I said, “great, now you have to submit to me”. I will get her to be more attentive to me in and out of the bedroom. I liked that! Beth went to the bathroom, I didn’t see her again for 2 hours, I don’t know what she was doing in there, but it took a long time.
As Beth got deeper into her faith, she became a changed woman, praying morning and evening. Beth prayed for the family to be covered by the blood of Jesus. She had this calmness about her. We did not argue any more. She had a new confidence and started dressing differently, not the short skirts and the tight jeans like in the past, but it’s a sophisticated look. The bedroom department was better— in fact it was so good, that I was not calling Mary quite as often.
Beth forgot her Bible this morning, as she was running late. I looked at it and then held it in my hands. “Before reading ‘The Word,” Beth would say to me, “pray and ask God to help you understand His words” I did and the Bible fell open on Malachi 3:15
“Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body & Spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart, remain loyal to the wife of your youth. For I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel. To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. So guard your heart, do not be unfaithful to your wife”
Jerry closed it quickly and re-opened it on 1 Corinthians 15:33
“Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character. Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God—I say this to your shame.”
God spoke to Jerry’s heart. He fell to his knees and “Submitted to God”. Jerry prayed for forgiveness and gave His life to the Lord.
