Staff Writer Jade Gerald
So it’s Valentines-day! A time for showy declarations of love, for the exchanging of heart-shaped cards and gifts wrapped in shades of red or pink. The day for love-filled expectations in the morning and often dashed hopes come evening.
Now I don’t know about you but I’ve never gone in for giving a man gifts on valentines-day. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that I never buy a man anything! But I’m a birthday and Christmas kind of girl. When I’m in love my beloved is guaranteed two gifts throughout the year and these are good gifts mind you – thoughtfully and lovingly chosen!
It had only been Lisa’s second date with Mark when during a conversation with girlfriend’s she revealed that she now felt as though she ‘owed him’ something in return for him having taking her out and paying for everything. Although exactly what she thought she owed him wasn’t too clear. ‘So because he’s bought you dinner and drinks a few times you now have to pay him back’, a friend of Lisa’s piped up.
‘Not pay him back exactly but show him that I have my own money and am willing to pay half’, Lisa retorted. So has dating become all about being even? Are we expected to pay a man back (in all kinds of ways) every time he show’s us some hospitality? When did dinner, drinks and a movie automatically equal – You Owe Me?
In years gone by there was a certain unspoken etiquette between men and women. Men were men and women knew how to graciously (and unashamedly) receive from them. Men often paraded their ability to provide and demonstrated commitment {through persistence} in the face of a woman’s occasional refusal of them. Playing hard to get was expected and the men in question didn’t feel embarrassed or stop trying – they persisted because that’s what the game called for.
However today’s game seems to have moved in an entirely different direction leaving men and women confused as to what it is they can and should expect to give and receive when dating. There are of course no hard and fast rules but for me the answer is this… Men should always give first – women should give afterwards and always a little less than they received – Why? Because it works better this way J.
So this Valentines I will be totally unembarrassed as I receive and can only hope that my simple heartfelt card will just as graciously be received!
What do you think, too harsh? Or maybe you agree with me! Let me know your thoughts…
