I have been on an interesting journey over the last few months. Not entirely a pleasant one, but one that has taught me certain lessons which I perhaps could not have learnt except by entering into the school of life’s trials.
What the school has taught me and is still teaching me is how to handle change and transition.
The change curve is used widely in training sessions to help people understand how to embrace change. However, before one can embrace change, they go through different stages such as the anger stage – ‘why is this happening to me?’ or the denial stage – ‘if I just bury my head in the sand long enough, it will just go away!’.
My change journey has taught me that I can never really relate and understand other people’s problems until I go through it myself. What has transpired in this process is an increased understanding of how to be ‘compassionate’.
Compassion is not a word that I hear much of these days. If I do, it is usually associated with some charitable appeal about helping children in third world countries, but it is not a word that I hear in our communities or workplaces.
Matthew chapter 9 v 36 gives an account of when many people came to Jesus as they had heard there was a ‘healer’ in town and they certainly need healing.
‘But when he (Jesus) saw the multitude he was moved with compassion on them.’
What caused this apparent shift in Jesus’ spirit? He said the multitude were weak and they didn’t have anyone to care for them.
Jesus had just healed their physical condition but he saw beyond their physical condition and saw their very souls which needed emotional and spiritual comfort.
My journey has taught me three things about compassion:
- My acts of compassion are conditional;
- They are caught up with fleeting emotions and;
- They are superficial.
The three solutions that have been brought to my attention to help me are:
To decrease the extremities of my conditional compassion. This takes a shift in mindset. Our acts of compassion are conditional at times because we have never walked in someone else’s shoes. It is hard to give and show compassion when we think certain people don’t deserve it. Should we give the homeless drunk begging on the streets our well earned money? However Proverbs 3 v 27 reminds us to:
‘Withhold not good from any man (woman, boy or girl) when it is in the power of our hand to give it.’
Compassion is more than just emotions. Compassion is about action. How can we say we love, when you see your brother or sister does not have food on their table.
True compassion has to be more than just on the surface. I love to hear about organisations that have started trading because someone was moved with ‘compassion’ and wanted to make a difference.
Rev Bob Pierce, started World Vision in the 1950s to help those who were orphaned in the notorious Korean War. Oxfam was started because a small committee wanted to help families to rebuild their lives after the Second World War and there are other great stories of those who started ventures because they wanted to extend their hand of compassion.
Can we or should we change the conditions and restrictions we place on executing compassion? I say a resounding ‘yes’, especially in our workplaces. As many organisations go through change and an extensive culling of employees is taking place, businesses should still administer dignity and compassion to those involved.
Everyone needs compassion, from senior officials to the security guard on the door; the homeless, single mother struggling to take her children to school each morning to the well standing educated person who looks as if they do not have a care in the world, yet is struggling with the weights of life.
What acts of compassion will you show today?
Let me know if you are struggling with change. I would love to hear your thoughts.