You keep asking questions about themselves and don’t say anything about yourself. That’s what a 2013 study by Birmingham Business School discovered.
In the study, unacquainted participants either engaged in back-and-forth self-disclosure or took turns self-disclosing for 12 minutes each while the other listened. Results showed that participants in the back-and-forth group liked each other significantly more.
As the authors write, “Although shy or socially anxious people may ask questions of the other to detract attention from themselves, our research shows that this is not a good strategy for relationship initiation. Both participants in an interaction need to disclose to generate mutual closeness and liking.”
So, the next time you’re in conversation with someone new, don’t forget to have a balance between asking questions and revealing something about yourself.
