The following calypso is of a tough and ruthless former Virgin Islands National leader and his terrible henchman
Now! Once upon a time, when KING KONG aka PA PA DOC DUVALIER ruled the roost, you dared not even SNORT: you had to be on your best behavior, on your Ps and Qs, so to speak. In dem times, you had better watch your back HOMBRE. Keep your TRAP securely shut. Guard your BEHIND. Those were the days of the COLD SWEAT. People were fearful. The look on many a face ambling about Road Town showed trauma, worry and anxiety. FEAR!
Journalists were lined up and shot. Yes AMIGO, journalism was a career for IDIOTS. TRUE SUCKERS! Yes BOSS it was a MUGS game indeed. One picked up a pen and wrote with much apprehension and terror, if one were that way inclined. One penned articles with trembling fingers, shaking hands, swiftly blinking eyes: with sweat dripping from the forehead. Putting pen to paper under the rule of Pa Pa Doc was a very risky game monsignor!
And PADRE! In those days of FEAR, TORMENT, and TRIBULATION, the commentator and show host was a targeted individual with a very short lifespan Commentators dared not boast of their independence as they do these days. Instead they sang a ballad to KING KONG. They wrote long and admiring poems about the LEGENDARY KICKER of JACK and JENNY the proverbial ASSES!
TV and radio hosts sang sweet love songs about the greatness of the KING, if they had any sense. One word out of place and the LICKS received from the King’s men would leave ones behind, buttocks, rear anatomy, and the posterior so to speak, double the usual size. Yes Sir! Once upon a time life was real HELL in PARADISE: a HARSH AFFAIR.
Photo courtesy kingkong.wikia.com
The government official who opposed the KING was BURNT TOAST. Civil Servants who valued their positions ambled about like ZOMBIES. When UNCLE passed by, all they could say was: ‘’YES SIR, NO SIR, THREE BAG FULL SIR! And that ain’t BULL SIR!’’
FOREIGNERS in the country played a game of perpetual HIDE and SEEK. KING KONG had dem well handle! One mistake and there was the MARCHING ORDER to the DETENTION CENTER at BALO, and then TERRANCE B LETTSOME INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, with your two bags, toothbrush, and toothpaste. What a thing that was!
If JOE EMIGRE couldn’t afford the airfare, there were a special BANANA BOAT at Port Purcell. Man, that trip were rough sir. Stories told: some unfortunates were dropped off on NOMAN ISLAND! That boat STINK worse than an OUTHOUSE.
Who would DARE write or say anything bad about KING KONG in them days! You crazy? And a journalist from down island were the biggest fool of all. But even worse were the writer from Africa: he were the proverbial JACKASS. The real MUG! One comma or period out of place: it was labour and immigration coming for you meh boy. CHIEF IMMIGRATION OFFICER WAS BOSS in those days.
He name were BABY DOC DUVALIER. Baby Doc were the real NUMBER 2 in the Virgin Islands. He were a smaller version of the OLDER PA PA DOC. Both looked exactly alike. But Baby Doc were half the size of BIG CHIEF. He were the HOTTEST and SEXIEST TING in town BOSS: them EXPAT WOMAN used to love he! And he used to march about Road Town with a TOYGUN in a HOLSTER dangling at the hip. Baby Doc took no COCK and BULL from any expat. Why? NO COMMENT!
That Baby Doc were a real tough cookie OMAR! A mean little hombre. He were bad. You could see he frog marching dem overstayers around the block at Immigration. Sometimes you could hear he smacking up some unfortunate downislander or African in he office. When in Road Town, the worst experience for TOM FOREIGN were to come into contact with Baby Doc. To cross he were a sad time in one’s short life.
It were always a very bad experience. A TERRIBLE moment! When JOE IMMIGRANT run into Baby Doc in Road Town. Baby Doc got Joe guessing as soon as eyes met. Guessing whether or not Joe gonna be thrown on to the next flight to TIMBUKTU, or worse still, dumped on a canoe to BOLIVAR.
When Baby Doc were approaching, Best ting were to RUN BABY RUN! SCRAMBLE COMPADRE!
BABY DOC were BAD NEWS for the EXPAT from Africa or Down Islands. He made life for the struggling expat a living hell. Dem say he could look you in the eye and tell your financial worth, and even where you come from.
What a man!
To be continued
