I HAD to publish this important article by Kenneth Gladstone from BVI as he highlights one of those “known but unspoken” situations. Read to the end. If you know people in a relationship such as he describes, tell them about it; especially if they are women!
“It was just the other day good friend of mine killed his wife in the presence of his children. This ordeal left the children traumatised and everyone else shocked. The actual truth which resulted in that event may never be fully explained, but one thing remains clear: Remorse is never present until reality sets in. The brother was deeply sorry for all of the words, but it was one life too late.
This unfortunate situation seems to happen much too often these days as husbands seem to get to the end of the road where they are seemingly rendered helpless under stress, and are left with no option but to take drastic measures without regard for anyone or anything else. When I examine the matter, I uncovered a very startling revelation. Human beings were created with the inate capacity to endure much hardship and restrain themselves for amazing periods of time. However, when one has had enough, or when one’s safety is perceived to be threatened, a human being like any animal, will take evasive action for self preservation, which most times happens very spontaneously.
A dog for example, if agitated long enough, will become frighteningly irate to the point where your very life could be endangered. The same is true of most creatures whether they live on land or at sea. With this in mind, it is not difficult to understand that humans, men in particular, regardless of how quiet or calm, they may appear to be, possess the capacity to be deadly. This is not an excuse for criminality, but this is the practical reality of human behaviour especially where persons are exposed to unreasonable or perlonged stress.
In relation to a family, it is very unclear how some women allow themselves to believe they can control, manipulate and abuse their husbands for years without consequences! I have seen many men treated like trash by women, embarrassed publicly and privately, and all they simply do is quietly walk away. In some cases, they may issue a gentle warning while they move to a safer place. Only an ignorant person would perceive this to be weakness.
Ladies, please be informed that it should never be taken for granted when your husband begins to warn you about your behaviour. Should this persist and he eventually becomes quiet, this is the period where angry reptiles assess their prey in preparation to strike. This should never be underestimated.
Regardless of how much a man loves a woman, if he is continually assaulted, or put down, or insulted, or aggravated by his wife, there is no telling how soon he will take evasive action. This is not to say that some men lack self-control as often presumed. It must be understood that men are most times more sensitive than women regardless of the macho image. Most men can be very giving and very sensitive to the emotional side of women. Yet they will not be slow to protect themselves. This is innately natural especially if they feel threatened. A warning should therefore be treated with urgency because, if unheeded, silence and withdrawal are the red flags before reaction. Silence and withdrawal should therefore never be taken for granted.
The red flag will appear for the following reasons:
a. For emotional or personal protection.
b. To calculate the next move which may be drastic. Under normal circumstances, silence and withdrawal are signals that the man is hurting, and strategies are being implemented to protect himself, family, assets or cash.
c. A man is inherently a leader. When his dominance is violated or compromised by his mate, he naturally loses respect for the made. He may therefore disregard the offending party and all that pertains to them.
Ladies, never forget that humans are upper-class animals, and although we were created to manage all animals below us, we were technically wired alike and will respond very similarly in fight and flight situations. We are all created with the capacity for self preservation and will do so at all cost, regardless.
Warning. Proverb 18:19
A brother offended his harder to be won than a strong city; and the contentions are like the bars of a castle.
Whether you are male or female, never push a man to the point where he is not communicating with you. The day you appear to become non-existent is the day you need to take immediate steps to correct the issues! When a giving man becomes tight-handed, a warm man becomes cold, and a caring man becomes like the iron bars of a castle, having little or no concern for you or anything which pertains to you, this is the ultimate red flag that he is in self protection mode. Anything is likely to happen at this point. Please note that any form of aggravation or extremism at this point could push him right over the edge.
Nothing just happens. An alarming situation sometimes takes years to get to its worst. The truth is, the facts are most times never known. Let wisdom guide you in your daily interactions, and if you are female and in a relationship, let your heart guide you to preserve your marriage, your family, your freedom, and even your life. It is all wrapped in this one saying: do unto others as you would that be should do unto you! When this is done, there is nothing else you can do!
With this said, if you know you have a problem with anger, please get help immediately. I can arrange courselling for you.”
IF YOU NEED HELP WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP OR HAVE ANGER ISSUES – PLEASE SEND ME YOUR CONTACT DETAILS AT [email protected] AND KENNETH WILL CONTACT YOU.
You don’t need to give your name, just reach out!
