Staff writer - Maureen Gordon
A peer group is finding a community, feeling part of something and finding your own identity within this. We have all experienced peer pressure. Peer pressure can be a very good thing, I am sure we all have people who are our peers who encourage and influence and try to bring out the best in us.
Peer pressure is one of the strongest influences affecting teenagers in society and often our reaction to the pressures children face can often lead to the situation becoming worse.
When children are young and leading up to primary age, parents can appear to be “gods” they can do no wrong. The change can begin when children start secondary school and it matters more what their friends think of them than what their parents think.
This change can be very hard for parents who are used to having the major say in their child/children life.
It was a Psychologist Erik Erikson who called this stage of adolescent development from age 12-18 Identity V role confusion. This is the time when we are neither a child or an adult and the path through life begins to get more complex as we grapple to find our own identity, struggle with social interactions and grapple with moral issues.
Photo courtesy peerpressure.org.uk
This is the time when young people can develop strong feelings for friends and causes.
It is found that boys and girls differ in their peer relationships, for boys, friends act primarily as companions, people who they can play games with, listen to music, share a joke. For girls friends are people with whom they can share secrets and share worries, they tend to take friendships more seriously and invest more in keeping them.
The impact of Peer pressure and the fight for independence in young people can be shown in different ways; they can be heavily influenced by their social networks, what they wear, distinctive piercing and tattoos! I am sure most parents are often afraid to think what new fads their children will bring home.
Parents need to be supportive as they can; and not be overbearing/controlling or personally attacking. I believe that sometimes parents can deny the impact of their own teenage years and in their quest to prevent their children enjoying similar experiences they can be very restrictive and controlling. Don’t forget that many teenagers have very fragile self-esteem at this stage of their development and so we need to be careful of our reaction.
- Be willing to find out for yourself, about some of the things your children are bringing to you, so you can talk with knowledge and not out of ignorance.
- Be real about some of your own experiences as a child and as a teenager for them to understand that you have also experienced some of these pressures and how you dealt with them.
I look forward to your comments
