Hello folks my name is Jobolistus Leopull but I’m affectionately called Vibot which I’m comfortable with, thank you. Anyway, the Publisher of CaribDirect asked me to do an ongoing article looking at what Caribbean men really want because he says there is a lot of attention placed on the woman’s needs on CaribDirect and no one is either brave or knowledgeable enough to look at the ‘man dem’ needs.
Well I’ve promised to outline what I call the facts about what men really want over a period of ten weeks. Yes I feel there are ten points Caribbean women need to understand about Caribbean men if they want the relationship to be sweet or ‘cris’ as ‘de boys dem does say’.
By the way I’m a Caribbean man that went to school so I can think, write and express myself but I like to use the, what they call vernacular (creole, native dialect or local twang) from time to time. To me it makes the talk sweeter or as I would say, ‘more sweet!’
Ok now down to business. I intend to look at this sensitive topic in a very structured way. I say sensitive because men in the Caribbean or should I say Caribbean men – period- have earned a somewhat bad reputation when it comes to the way they treated women or should I say the way they are allegded to have treated women over the years. So there’s bound to be women who will disagree with me from time to time… just like how there will be men vexed with me about letting out some of the secrets of our behaviour. So you see it’s going to upset both women and men but such is the the nature of the truth…it hurts!
This discussion is going to be conducted over ten weeks, each week I will present a sub topic that will support the overall theme of What Caribbean Men Really Want. I don’t intend to speak about these issues as though I’m pacifying kids in a creche or patting a lion’s head…I’m going for it so I expect you to reply with your thoughts, experiences, greavances and if necessary critiques or comments on how you think I’m treating the subject. This is an adult discussion and we will get at the issues for the benefit of both women and men.
The sub topics I intend to deal with are:
1. ATTENTION
The master: Actor Samuel L Jackson
2. PRAISE
3. RESPECT
4. SUBMISSION
5. REASSURANCE
6. SUPPORT
7. CONVERSATION
8. PAMPERING
9. ME TIME
10. LOVE
11. SEX
So to begin.
First you’re probably wondering why a photo of the great Samuel L Jackson; well the man is a symbol of success, confidence, fortitude, perseverance and a sense of family, attributes acquired from a loving extended family headed by his maternal grandmother. DO YOU THINK SAMUEL JACKSON IS ONE OF THE MOST TALENTED BLACK ACTORS? COMMENT BELOW…
It is no joke the saying, ‘We are products of our society’, as it was nurturing, care, attention and love that steered Samuel to become one of the bussiest actors in Hollywood.
No one, or at least, no normal person appreciates being ignored and trod upon especially in a relationship. We men, Caribbean men, are particular about being noticed, being observed and being acknowledged as the significant other in a relationship.
I’ve been in relationships where the woman would scarcely look at me unless we were in direct conversation or engaged in some project that required our joint focus…I don’t know if it’s a Caribbean thing but it’s weird! Now don’t get me wrong when I say she scarcely looked at me I meant at times when I felt she should be into what I was doing so as to provide moral or emotional support but she was otherwise occupied with some more interesting girly activity.
My instinctive response, as supported by many men I’ve spoken to, is to not confront her about her apparent disinterest but to find an equally interesting activity that would distract me from what she’s doing. Has it worked? Hell yeah!! Women crave attention probably more than we do so why is it so hard for some of them to return the favour?
We men, need to know you recognise we’re in the house, flat or generally in your space. Drop us a teasing glance; call out to us for no apparent reason or even pelt us with a shoe if you’re up for a play fight but you can’t go wrong showing us you appreciate our being with and around you. It’s bound to wuk ‘cos ah me Vibot Seh So.
Next week I’ll look at PRAISE one of the important activities that Caribbean men really want to feel special.
