The master: Actor Samuel L Jackson
I hope our last chat on PRAISE gave you a few things to think about when it comes to keeping your Caribbean man. I don’t suppose the next subject RESPECT would be too difficult for you to understand as for centuries men, in general have always been stressing the need for their women to respect them, especially as the good ole Bible proclaims that the wife respects her husband as the head of the home.
Well without getting into political correctness or trampling on women’s gender rights I’ll say this much…that Caribbean men have been somewhat less rigid with the RESPECT thing based on the Bible’s teachings. We enlightened men don’t sweat too much on the issue of who is the head of the home and so on as we know with both partners having to work to make ends meet while men help out around the house doing unconventional chores (washing, cleaning and so on). However, we have not waved our right to be treated with dignity, honour, empathy and compassion, when we deserve it because we do a few female chores. For me, respect is the combination of all these attributes showing your partner how much you care for him.
Respect is not just about saying please or thank you; or kissing and comforting us when the chips are down but more importantly allowing us to express ourselves when with friends or family; agreeing to disagree on a point we both feel strongly about; and generally never showing us up in public.
My mom always said ‘you can only demand respect if you give it.’ So if you’re a woman who is big on the respect thing, my advice to you is start dishing some out if it’s not really your style. Trust me in spite of your hang ups with respecting Caribbean men either through experience or our historical and in some cases, unfounded reputation as DOGS, you’ll see a big difference!
One more thing, it’s funny how respect finds itself in the bedroom, that place where babies are made through passion and love. The thing is RESPECT is somehow not taken too seriously, sometimes. Yes the idea of being disrespectful to your partner during love making or sex (and yes there’s a difference) is a real issue for some relationships. The act of making love or having sex presupposes consent on both sides and also that certain acts are not performed without permission. So in my view, ‘if yo nah get de permission yo caan do eet!’ and this goes for both man and woman. To attempt a sex act on your partner without permission is disrespectful…cos’ is I Vibot Seh So! Stay tune for next week’s chat on SUBMISSION.
