Staff writer - Latoya Wakefield
You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. In our Caribbean, domestic violence is a stressing and pressing issue. I’m sure that 4/5 people know someone who has been or who is in such a situation. Many of the abused choose to stay in such a relationship. I say ‘choose’ because it is a choice.
Why do they stay? I’ve talked to several victims and the main reason is for the children. Others state they don’t know how to move on and the rest conduce that that’s how their spouses express their love. Talk about ‘tough love’, huh? Everyone has a breaking point and so therefore it will be internal torture if someone chooses to stay because of any of these reasons.
Women are the main victims in these situations. A woman’s life is no easy task as we have so many things to deal with and we stand by our responsibilities, hence single parent families with the mother being the sole care giver, is the dominant type of family in our society. We are the mothers, the care givers, the nurturers and the solid foundation for our society. Why should we allow a man to beat us or mistreat us? Why, when we are survivors, do we continue to let our counterparts take advantage of our physical weakness?
You're both responsible!
Abuse is like a disease, it not only demolishes your body; it eats away at your emotional and mental state. I further asked the victims if they were happy being in such a companionship. Are YOU really happy being in an abusive relationship? Almost all of them could not answer right away. The few that did, said ‘no’ in hushed tones. Some had thoughtful looks on their faces then they gave me their answers which were in the negative. One female took me aside and stated ‘yes’ when I asked why, she stated ‘because he loves me and that’s all I ever wanted’. I then asked ‘so why does he hurt you physically if he loves you?’
She took a while then she replied ‘because I make him angry by hitting him first or doing something he doesn’t like’. I would say that’s very twisted but I’m not in the person’s shoes so therefore my judgements would be invalid. However, opinions based on the information given can be put forward. Therefore, I think a man should never put his hand on a woman no matter what and the same goes for the female.
God stated ‘young man, I call upon you because you are strong’ A man should not only be strong in physical strength but also in his will, in his dedication, in his power to resist temptation, in being a leader and in demonstrating how a child of God should be. Young men, men in general, we call upon you to not give up that strength. Take your roles in society and stop being a coward. Only when a man is strong will he appreciate a good woman.
Women, let’s unite. We are super humans as we overcome feats every day without throwing in the towel. No man should take you for a punching bag, no man should put you down, no man should ill treat you in any way and no man should be in your life if he doesn’t deserve to be there. Let’s support and be there for each other as we stand up against domestic violence across the world.
