‘Plan for a rainy day but you might still come unstuck.’

Some might find the subject of death somewhat morbid to discuss but as sure as night follows day we will all leave this earth one day as no one is immortal.  No one knows when that will happen so the idea of being prepared is of paramount importance and we should not be afraid or shy in discussing this with those closest to us. We should make our wishes known in order that no one has to second guess what we would like for our final farewell.

When I was growing up in Jamaica my grandmother would tell me to get ready to attend funerals and of course as a child I did not know most of the deceased. Trying to argue my case of not wanting to attend, her response would be that she is not going and I will be representing the family. So imagine as a young child being forced to do that and then I would bravely follow the mourners and view the body of the person lying in the coffin or casket during the funeral service. 

Especially during the nights after that experience I would be so afraid walking on country roads in the dark with only the moon shining. If the banana leaves began to rustle in the gentle breeze my wild imagination would get the better of me being convinced it was the ghost of the departed commonly referred to as duppy in Jamaica that had returned to haunt me. Oh those were the days of freeze, flight but certainly not fight as how could one fight what did not exist? I can laugh now and see the funny side but it was no joking matter back then.

Overtime I have attended many funerals since returning to England in 1979 but lately the date of the funeral and mainly burial seem to be sometimes up to six weeks from when the person died.  I often wondered why such a long time and recently found out the main cause of the lengthy delays which proved to be a real eye opener.

Someone in her nineties recently died and being one of the executors of her last Will I had to with the other executor attend a particular funeral home to set a date for the funeral.  That is when I realized how much of a struggle it has now become to coordinate or synchronize dates for all the persons that need to be involved.  Apart from the backlog of available dates in the diary for the funeral home,  the  availability of the pastor/vicar, and the church which does not have funerals on some days, plus the staff at the cemetery to do what is required at the grave  make it all become a logistical nightmare. It literally took ages with lots of telephone calls by the funeral home staff to sort out a date which was suitable for all the persons who need to participate.  I will no longer question in my mind why dates from death to funerals are so far apart. Previously it used to be put down to the fact that relatives and loved ones need time to come from abroad but that does not factor as much now.

That brings me to the subject of funeral plans and making a Will which in this case the person sensibly did on both accounts. She paid for her funeral over ten years ago even choosing the style of her casket amongst other things. Some cemeteries in Birmingham and surrounding areas I understand are becoming full and buying a burial plot is also proving to be difficult these days. Luckily this person will be buried in the double grave of her dearly beloved husband who died over 30 years ago.

Planning ahead really does save the worry and hassle of what to do for the best if one’s wishes are legally recorded/documented for the family and loved ones left behind so that they can concentrate on grieving/bereavement and celebrate the death of the departed in a meaningful way.