Staff writer - Maureen Gordon
I watched a movie recently it was called the Stepford Wives, it was an old movie but given a modern make over. It tells the story of a family that moves to a town in Middle America. All the wives seem perfectly turned out, they constantly cleaned the house and were available to attend to their husband’s every whim. Everything seemed perfect, too perfect. However the main character in the story begins to suspect that something is very wrong. She eventually realises that all the wives in the town have been replaced by carbon copy robots of the real thing and that the men had found a way of living the utopian dream by creating the perfect wife. We all know that this is Hollywood fantasy or is it?
I believe our society likes to try and create images of perfection; usually these are people in the public eye. The actress Bo Derek was described as the perfect 10 in the movie of the same name, which meant that she had the perfect body and physique. I often have to support young people who hate what they look like because they have seen a model or an actress who appears to have everything in the right place, they seem perfect.
I my opinion we constantly strive for perfection in something either in us or in others. Sometimes it is our children who are the targets. But do we want to produce in our children our own unfulfilled dreams, goals and aspirations, or do we just want them to do their best. Trying to produce perfect children often leads to unrealistic pressure being placed on them. Having high expectations for your children is good but, it can also be detrimental if they try and they cannot attain it. We often hear and read of suicides of high achieving children and my day to day work also puts me in touch with children who suffer from panic attacks and other stress related problems because of the expectation that has been put on them, and in turn what they begin to put on themselves.
Whilst in Jamaica in 2011 I came across parents who were extremely concerned about their children’s achievement in education or lack of it. This meant that their children had to attend extra, classes, tutoring and all manner of resources were being utilised in a bid to produce results that will make their parents proud. We are all “wired” differently, you cannot compare one person against another, in the same way parents cannot compare their children. By saying your brother/sister knew this at this age why can’t you get it; this is not useful or helpful.
Within our education system schools also are under tremendous pressure to improve their academic performance and jostle for position on the league tables. This in turn breeds a competitive spirit, amongst students and the desire to get the perfect scores. Where is the balance? Our children need to know it is okay to do nothing sometime, to enjoy their childhood, instead of being on a perpetual schedule of study and activity.
What are your thoughts are we wanting our children to do their best or to aim for perfection. ..Is perfection attainable?
I look forward to your comments
