Staff Writer - Katrin Callender
You’ve been there before. News breaks, and whether it’s tragic or exciting, you want to share it with those who think like you, those who see the world as you do, your friends who want to share it with you too. You pick up the phone to make a call.
But it rings while you’re dialing the number. You smile. You don’t even have to look at the phone to know who’s calling you.
How many of us are lucky enough to find friends who are dear to us because of kind, generous, or loyal natures, or for any number of reasons? These individuals are invaluable to us. So much time is spent together, that you know almost everything there is to know about each other. You bring each other happiness and sometimes pain. But you always seem to know how to help each other or make up for mistakes.
We ourselves may be such friends to others. Often we begin blurring lines so that those friends are called family. But are these friendships worthy of being elevated? And is it wrong to do this? Should we keep the two groups separate? And should family always come first?
There are many who have not been born into circumstances that permit them this kind of joy and support in the home. They instead face sadness, loneliness and sometimes abuse from family members. Such individuals may struggle with the fear of being disappointed by others. It is quite significant when they meet individuals who can provide these things. Others happily enjoy support and companionship among family, and such friends enhance an already enchanted life.
Trusting another so much that you bring them into your home and give them a
Photo courtesy marscellus.com
say in your decision making may be very dangerous. Yet there are individuals who will see this honour for what it is and endeavor to prove themselves worthy of it. Perhaps the best of friends deserve to be elevated to honorary family status. The challenge is determining which of our friends is true and worthy of this rank. It is not wrong to recognize individuals who have stood with you through trials and in victory. But we must be cautious.
As relates to keeping the two groups separate, knowledge of both groups and sound reasoning as to the ability of the two groups to get along with each other, will help you to determine if they can be mixed or must be kept separate. Neither should be made to feel uncomfortable. But if both groups will be a part of your life, they will inevitably meet, and perhaps they should. But great care must be taken in ensuring that the exercise is productive, if not a complete triumph.
Finally, it is up to the individual to determine whether your family will be first in your life. Family comes first for me. This is a personal choice that is informed by the satisfying relationship that exists. Some cannot say the same because they may not enjoy this sort of relationship. To these persons, I certainly hope that there is a change in circumstances that makes this possible for you.
Many learn to interact with the world by way of lessons learned from interacting with our families. But friends can be an asset, and the best of friends are a joy. Each of us must monitor the relationships in which we play a part. It is critical that we know our contribution to them, as well as the contribution others make to our lives.
Those who build us up are always welcome, while those who do not may soon be ejected from our lives. And may we be the sort of friends who prove invaluable to others – a source of joy, peace, support and endless love.
