Ram Goat
You may recall the last time I was reeling at my mother’s unimpressed and indifferent attitude to my having lost the girl I had a serious crush on, Angel; while at the same time being dumped by my best friend Hamish, all in one month!
Well that experience, though unsurprising, was traumatic in itself. I know mom has never been very supportive of me one way or another but I really and secretly hoped the pain I suffered with Angel and Hamish may have invoked some sympathy or at least empathy from her. I couldn’t have been more wrong!
After putting up with mom’s ranting about how I wasted all this time behind people better off than myself instead of doing my school work I then had to deal with my delinquent dad, Mr Know All! This is not someone who has ever paid any attention to me or my needs but would be there as the executioner to pass punishment. It seemed he loved his role because he took pride in meting out the appropriate but in some cases excessive punishment.
One evening my dad knocked on my bedroom door, a very rare occurrence, invited himself in and helped himself to a seat on the edge of my well made up bed. He must have seen the shock on my face but ignored it conveniently pretending I was pleasantly surprised to see him…So wrong he was! He wasted no time and proceeded to lecture me about the values of hard work, discipline and sacrifice…virtues he, no doubt, thought I had no clue about….wrong again! The irony of the whole situation was that while he took the posture of a responsible father bonding with his son he reeked of stale alcohol and cigarette, a scent that up to this day brings back nauseating feelings and unpleasant memories.
When he finally got to the point of his visit, to scold me about recklessly spending his hard earned money on ‘scum like Angel’, he said, I had got the feeling I had made the greatest mistake of my life. Suddenly the word Angel was synonymous with Devil as he vilified her in a manner that suggested he knew what he was speaking about. The trouble is, as I knew he had no idea what he was talking about, it hurt me and made him look even less of the man I thought he was. I thought to myself who the hell was he to pass judgement on someone I took time to know and love traits glaringly absent in his relationship with my mom.
Forgetting I was still only 12 years old and a dependant living under his roof I lost it and told him straight that he’s a liar, a drunk and a cheat! All facts, I might add but at the time it didn’t matter as he was the head of the home and with two busy right hand swings, he reminded me of that other fact. That’s when the idea came to me again that, Life Sucks!! Ram Goat
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