Clive Caines Cultural Contributor
“The picture that says Rihanna’s back with Chris” proclaims the headline of a well-known woman’s magazine.
On the face of it this is just another celebrity gossip story, what’s more this story has been doing the media rounds ever since the initial reaction of moral outrage caused by Chris Brown’s physical abuse of Rihanna died down.
But is a surface level reading of this story really what’s required? If it is, then the issue of domestic violence has to be given a back seat in favour of a hearts and flowers, true love will never die story.
Now, I will say that any celebrity, like all of us normals, deserves to have a private life and most certainly shouldn’t have people constantly telling them how to live their lives. As far as Rihanna is concerned, I read her as a strong woman who knows her own mind and as someone who is comfortable with her womanhood.
As a pop star Rihanna occupies a space that many artists would kill for: Iconic status; this status built on a global appeal will pull together fans from a broad range of musical genres. With this level of success you would think that Rihanna would never have to deal with being an abused woman.
Rihanna and Chris getting back together? Photo courtesy rick.com
The hope is that she’ll never have to do so again, though some would say that the odds are stacked against this. In any case Jay-Z, who was quite vociferous in his condemnation of Brown when the original domestic abuse story broke, has according to some newspaper reports told Brown that if he hurts Rihanna again then he’ll finish him.
According to The National Domestic Violence Helpline, a UK agency, “1 in 4 women will be a victim of domestic violence in their lifetime – many of these on a number of occasions. One incident of domestic violence is reported to the police every minute.
On average, 2 women a week are killed by a current or former male partner… Available statistics on domestic violence are likely to understate the extent of abuse… Women may experience domestic violence regardless of ethnicity, religion, class, age, sexuality, disability or lifestyle.”
Now let’s not get carried away with the idea that domestic violence is just a woman’s problem men can be victims of domestic violence as well: to quote the N.D.V.H. again “… men’s experiences are much less nested, that is, of those subject to domestic force, only 9 per cent had also experienced frightening threats and 28 per cent emotional or financial abuse.”
However when I say that domestic violence is a male problem I’m coming at this from the position that by far the percentage of female victims outstrip those of male victims; the obvious statement and harsh truth here is that it is men who are more likely to be the perpetrators of domestic violence.
It has to be acknowledged that a sad fact about domestic violence is that for women status is no barrier to experiencing domestic violence; the Tina Turner biog movie ‘What’s Love Got To Do With It’ paid testimony to that unpalatable fact.
For some men the tendency to believe that they are the kings of the universe becomes a difficult and dangerous self-image to shake off, especially when it is backed up by a culture or society that encourages this view. What comes with the king of the universe self-image is a ridiculous sense of entitlement and, I believe, an inability or unwillingness to articulate.
The International Men’s March to Stop Rape, Sexual Assault & Gender Violence, ‘Walk A Mile In Her Shoes’ literally encourages men to take to the streets in women’s shoes and walk a mile.
It may appear to be a frivolous way to make a point but at least it indicates that there are men who see it as their business to come up with solutions to domestic violence. What’s really encouraging about this movement is that it aims to persuade young boys to think and behave differently.
In Alaska the Walk A Mile In Her Shoes march is conducted in conjunction with a white ribbon pledge, the purpose of which is explained by Community Engagement Advocate Mark Calvert’s comment, “We have gathered over 1,000 White Ribbon Pledges from men and boys to never commit, condone or remain silent about violence against women and girls.”
If there’s hope to be gained from Rihanna getting back with Chris Brown then that hope must be that abusive men can change their ways.
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