Social and Cultural Anthropologist and contributor Scherin Barlow-Massay
Community news. The absence of a father has a negative effect on the social and emotional development of young girls. Many internalise feelings of rejection that manifests itself in various different patterns of negative behaviour (Kandel, Rosenbaum and Chen, 1994). Furthermore, when they become adults, some women find it hard to develop a healthy relationship with a man.
While a father can be a source of emotional comfort and security, the opposite is true when he abuses his role. Some men think that they have fulfilled their parental responsibilities by providing materially, however, that is not the case as we have seen, and much more is needed in raising children.
When a man is emotionally distant and does not engage with his daughter, many become resentful because their emotional need for love and ‘belongingness’ go unfulfilled.
However, by far the most insidious and damaging behaviour a father can commit is one of physical or sexual abuse. Such disturbed parenting often causes emotional, psychological and social problems. A person who experiences physical abuse during childhood can become abusive parents because they had no reference of normality within the home. Abuse and neglect leave a powerful mark on the young, and for a damaged child that process often has a long recovery period.
In a report by the NSPCC, Alexander (2011) calls sexual abuse ‘a chronic neurological disease’. As a reaction to such a warped violation of trust, sexual abuse can affect a child’s behaviour in school, leading to poor academic performance, disruptive behaviour or bullying. Other children experiencing such trauma can become extremely withdrawn or develop physical ailments such as nervous tics, eating disorders, stammering, bedwetting, and an impaired ability to cope with stress or emotions (Allnock et al., 2009). They could also suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder.
Childhood sexual abuse affects the brain’s ability to develop and function properly (Mizenberg et al., 2008). Such dysfunctional behaviour includes dissociation, memory impairment, and reduced social functioning (Whitehead, 2011). There are increased psychiatric disorders in adulthood, low self-esteem, emotional and physical problems with intimate relationships and many women abuse drugs and alcohol in an attempt to alleviate their emotional and psychological pain. Women who suffered from abuse as children are more likely to self-harm and are twice as likely to consider committing suicide (Calder 2010).
According to an NSPCC factsheet on sexual abuse in minority ethnic communities, much sexual abuse remains hidden and unreported, as children and young people are too ashamed or afraid to speak out-irrespective of the community they are part of.
Photo courtesy promising.futureswithoutviolence.org
In those communities where sexual abuse remains a taboo subject, there is more likely to be a fear of reprisals from a relatively strong community network that may condemn rather than help the victim: anecdotal evidence from the NSPCC‘s services to ethnic children and families support the view that South Asian, African, Caribbean and Chinese communities all share a common view of ‘everyone finding out.’
Sexual abuse is not discussed at community level, so that the barriers to reporting and appropriate service provision cannot be broken down.
Parenthood carries with it very serious responsibilities. When both parents support each other in rearing their child, each adult becomes more competent in their child rearing abilities (Belsky; 1981, Parke & Anderson, 1987). In addition, children grow up secure and emotionally healthy.
