Staff Writer - Katrin Callender
Ever worry that you’re not attractive enough to snag the man of your dreams? Ever panic when you walk into a room of people for a class or social event, knowing you will be expected to interact, but certain you cannot? You sit worrying about hair, clothes and make-up. And is that celery in your teeth? Or you worry what’s going to come out of your mouth; minty fresh breath and white teeth do not start a relationship regardless of all the advertisements to the contrary. So you panic and run or you have an unenthusiastic conversation because you have already decided that you won’t make friends or get his attention.
I’ve found that you can get the attention of any individual if you project confidence. There was a time I would groan and roll my eyes at this sentiment. How on earth could anyone know whether or not I had faith in myself, and how would this determine their interest in me? And then I found myself in a series of similar situations. I was caught in my very own Groundhog Day, and every time I was left alone after the encounter, I gave myself permission to throw a pity party and also celebrate how right I had been. But I wasn’t satisfied. And I was not happy.
I decided to listen to those wiser than myself. I fought their ideas at first but as more and more situations came at me, I grew tired of dealing with the same outcome. And I was lonely. It was the one thing I would never admit, but it burned me at the heart. I knew that the few individuals that had brushed past my façade with their positivity and determination did not regret getting to know me. And through them, others came, and stayed. Clearly, I had something to offer. I began to feel a bit more confident about myself; I grew brave enough to let myself show. I let them know that I was happy to have them in my life. And more came, and stayed.
Many years later, I caught my reflection in the doors of an office on campus. I didn’t recognize myself at first. There was something familiar about the lady with all that poise and grace walking towards that door like she was on a Victoria Secret Fashion Show catwalk. But I’d never walked with my head held high. I’d never exuded confidence in myself or demonstrated knowledge of my worth. Later that year, after finding that strangers had become friends, amazing men were taking notice and that an enchanted life was taking shape, I daily utter thanks to those who pointed me in the right direction.
Confidence shows and is attractive
Many of us worry when we are placed before strangers or when we are attracted to someone, and fear that we don’t have what it takes to win them over. I believe that everyone is worthy of love and that we can all cultivate the attributes of a good friend or love interest. But we must be willing to put in the work. We must get to know ourselves and project those qualities that make us special. And we must be willing to love others the way we want to be loved. All our fears of awkward encounters and lost love will melt away and what will be left is a wonderful world of possibilities.
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